A Million Times Infinity!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Strengths v. Weaknesses
While I'm sure most of my friends spent their first weekend of summer vacation partying like rockstars, I spent my Saturday night listening to a podcast by Marcus Buckingham, author of multiple books about discovering your strengths and being successful.
I first saw Buckingham on Oprah a few weeks ago. He had hosted a workshop for Oprah in which he talked about how we should play to our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. The workshop is available for download on iTunes.
The key point Buckingham made was play to your strengths, not your weaknesses. Once you do this, your world will tilt in that direction and everything else will fall away. Of course, there are some risks involved in playing to your strengths, but in the end it's worth it.
Buckingham said to ask yourself what your strengths are and how you will use them during the day when you get up in the morning.
In order to do this, you must know what strengths and weaknesses are.
According to Buckingham, strengths are things that you do well that excite you and you are passionate about. Weaknesses are activities you do that drain you. Sometimes one of your weaknesses could be an activity similar to a strength.
One way to discern if something is a strength or a weakness is how you feel when you do an activity. If time seems to stop when you do an activity, it is most likely a weakness. If times speeds up as you work, it is probably a strength.
For example, I am good at math, but math bores me and I'm tired when I complete it. Therefore, it is a weakness, not a strength. On the other hand, when I am writing, time moves a little faster and I am not exhausted when I am finished.
To keep track of their strengths and weaknesses, Buckingham had the people participating in the workshop keep a notepad in which they wrote down the activities they did all week. They labeled these activities as either strengths or weaknesses.
Surprisingly, Buckingham said that we should not fix our weaknesses. Instead, we should try to grow in our strengths because you will never be the greatest in areas you do not excel in. We should filter our weaknesses through our strengths in order to minimize them.
At the end of the day, you and those around you will benefit the most when you play to your strengths.
For more on this topic, click this link to the podcast: Take Control of Your Career and Your Life with Marcus Buckingham
I first saw Buckingham on Oprah a few weeks ago. He had hosted a workshop for Oprah in which he talked about how we should play to our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. The workshop is available for download on iTunes.
The key point Buckingham made was play to your strengths, not your weaknesses. Once you do this, your world will tilt in that direction and everything else will fall away. Of course, there are some risks involved in playing to your strengths, but in the end it's worth it.
Buckingham said to ask yourself what your strengths are and how you will use them during the day when you get up in the morning.
In order to do this, you must know what strengths and weaknesses are.
According to Buckingham, strengths are things that you do well that excite you and you are passionate about. Weaknesses are activities you do that drain you. Sometimes one of your weaknesses could be an activity similar to a strength.
One way to discern if something is a strength or a weakness is how you feel when you do an activity. If time seems to stop when you do an activity, it is most likely a weakness. If times speeds up as you work, it is probably a strength.
For example, I am good at math, but math bores me and I'm tired when I complete it. Therefore, it is a weakness, not a strength. On the other hand, when I am writing, time moves a little faster and I am not exhausted when I am finished.
To keep track of their strengths and weaknesses, Buckingham had the people participating in the workshop keep a notepad in which they wrote down the activities they did all week. They labeled these activities as either strengths or weaknesses.
Surprisingly, Buckingham said that we should not fix our weaknesses. Instead, we should try to grow in our strengths because you will never be the greatest in areas you do not excel in. We should filter our weaknesses through our strengths in order to minimize them.
At the end of the day, you and those around you will benefit the most when you play to your strengths.
For more on this topic, click this link to the podcast: Take Control of Your Career and Your Life with Marcus Buckingham
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Oh G&G ... where art thou?
Who is the crew behind G&G? Well let's see ... that would be me and my assistant better known as, oh yeah, me. Yes friends, it's true. Grit & Glam is a one woman operation. Amazing, huh? J/K. I would put more posts up but there are a few reasons I have not: (1) I have four finals next week and I'm going bonkers. (2) My laptop, although awesome, is running low on memory (too many iTunes downloads) and the fan's broken so it's easily overheatable and shuts off constantly. When I'm done with school you'll see more posts. But for now I'll leave you at almost 3 AM Friday, May 9 with a yawn and a smile and a wave and a (insert cute word that rhymes with smile here). Crocodile?
Grit and Glam It!
Grit and Glam It!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Where My Party People At?
Around this time of the year would-be summer anthems start popping up. I think this track has potential. Nelly and a crew in suits. Fergie on a swing in a bathing suit one minute and rocking a bra-suit combo the next. Sounds like a great video to me, but don't take my word for it. Watch it here first!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
JMac's 'Leavin' His Underage Drinking Years Behind As He Turns 21
I know I'm an hour late since it's 1 in the morning on April 10th right now, but I still must congratulate fellow Westchesterian Jesse McCartney on turning 21 on April 9th. I hope he didn't party too hard last night. Last week TMZ reported that JMac's neighbors were told to call 911 if his 2:30 am parties got out of control. Guess he should have stayed in NYC. New Yorkers have the right idea: crash the party, don't let the cops shut it down.
Check out Jesse's new vid for Leavin that shows off his "grown-up 21 year old" side:
Check out Jesse's new vid for Leavin that shows off his "grown-up 21 year old" side:
True Life:: I Love 'Cosmo' Lists
My mom found this on MSN earlier and has been raving about it ever since.
It's a list from Cosmopolitan called Single-Girl Things to Do Before You Marry. Read Cosmo's tips and enjoy my commentary.
-------
It doesn't matter if you're planning to tie the knot with your man in the next couple of years or if that trip down the aisle isn't even on your horizon. There are some things that you better indulge in now, because once you're hitched? Forget about it.
Cosmo:: Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing abs.
So what if he's five years younger and your polar opposite? The joy of running your hands across his six-pack is a perfectly legitimate reason to go out with him.
G&G:: I totally agree with Cosmo on this one. I recall an episode of Sex and the City in which Samantha tells the girls that she once dated a guy all summer because he had a pool. If she can date a guy for his pool, you can date a guy for his abs. Remember, I did go to a concert two weeks ago partially because someone had great abs.
Cosmo:: Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.
Yes, it's fun to travel with your man, but you also have to have some solo adventures under your belt before you start sharing your life with him 100 percent.
G&G:: Become a global goddess. My friend and I have made it our goal to make it to Helsinki after we graduate. Hey Valo!
Cosmo:: Embrace feminine decor.
Don't go so far as to paint the walls pink — that'll freak out any guy who sets foot in your place — but stock up on stuff that appeals to your girlie side. When you're building a nest with him, you'll have to compromise on furniture and accessories, so pile on cute throw pillows while the decorating is all up to you (because here's a tip: Guys hate the things).Wear a hip, fabulous ring on your left hand. Once you have an engagement band, you won't want anything detracting attention from the ring.
G&G:: I'm not that girly, but if you must get your girl on, be my guest.
Cosmo:: Take advantage of the whole bed.
You have the rest of your life to stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man. Right now, place your pillow smack-dab in the center and make like a starfish.
G&G:: I suffer from only child syndrome so not sharing the bed is great, trust me!
Cosmo:: Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.
Chances are, when you have a joint account with your hubby, he's not going to get why a purse might be worth the GDP of a small country.
G&G:: Christian Louboutin here I come!
Cosmo:: Learn how to change a tire and work a drill.
It's easy to relegate all those "guy" tasks to your man (and you totally should enlist his help), but there's a sense of power that comes with being able to fix something yourself.
G&G:: Taking charge is always in my book, so why not look adorable doing it. Put on those Daisy Dukes and prove that anything he can do, you can do better (and more stylishly).
Cosmo:: Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet.
Once it's there, he'll have to accept it (and psst, they make it impossible for men to leave the seat up).Throw blowout bashes. Sure, it's nice to have a mellow get-together with your girlfriends, but that shouldn't be the extent of your social life. Before settling down, let your wild side reign.
G&G:: Sometimes furry things frighten me, so if you're like me I would stay away from this one.
Cosmo:: Get a grip on your dough.
Sign up for a retirement plan and invest extra income in stocks or CD accounts. Take charge of your own cash flow before merging moola with your guy.
G&G:: Remember - more money, more shoes! ;-)
Cosmo:: Have your dad take you out to dinner as often as possible.
The reasons: It's great bonding time, and his open-wallet generosity will dry up once you're hitched. Face it: Your reception is the last meal that'll be his treat.
G&G:: I was raised by a single mother so this doesn't really apply to me, but if it does for you, cheers!
Cosmo:: Hone a signature lingerie style.
Figure out what cuts and colors are hottest on you, and develop a look that's all your own. That way, your one-day groom will follow your lead ... and not buy the polyester, so-small-you-could-floss- your-teeth-with-it teddy.
G&G:: I'm all about Victoria's Secret. I even wanted to intern there, but the internship was all the way in Ohio (who the hell lives there? ... Sidenote - if you do you might want to check that out). Friends say I have "expensive taste", but when I walk around and spot an ill-fitting bra a mile away I always think, "Why suffer? Go to Vicky S." They have the best stuff there and you're sure to find your signature lingerie style (and no, I'm not telling you mine).
Cosmo:: Want a cat? Heed this advice: Buy it now.
Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.
G&G:: Here's the thing - I hate pets; my mom loves them. She grew up in Jamaica with dogs, a dozen cats, and birds. I grew up in a US apartment with a lease prohibiting pets, hence my apprehension towards pets. I don't dislike all pets; I like my friend's chihuahua. Hey Romee! "woof woof"
Cosmo:: If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda, buy a cone and pop a Coke.
When you and The Mister mangia together all the time, you'll be less likely to indulge those bizarre — but oh-so-satisfying — cravings.
G&G:: Go for it girl! Just remember to keep some PeptoBismal handy.
Cosmo:: Use tons of hot water in the a.m.
G&G:: Hell yeah! 'Nough said.
Cosmo:: Take your celeb crush to the max.
Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of him.
G&G:: Switch that Ryan Gosling poster for one of Justin Timberlake and we're good to go.
Cosmo:: Plan your fantasy wedding.
Now's the time to let your imagination roam — rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues, and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.
G&G:: I'm not really into the whole marriage thing, but if I was I'd be thinking Hawaii, beach, barefoot, simple, and a guy a cross between JT/Ryan Sheckler/John Mayer/Daniel Craig/Tom Ford/Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Travis McCoy.
Cosmo:: Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status can't disturb.
Regularly treat yourself to something you love, whether it's a manicure, yoga classes at the fanciest studio in town, or a superrelaxing massage.
G&G:: The time of my life - concerts, museums, art galleries, road trips, etc.
Cosmo:: Set up your home in a way that fits your needs.
Maybe keeping the coffee machine in the bathroom so you can get your caffeine boost while you put on makeup in the morning works for you. Until you have to deal with someone else weighing in on your unusual arrangement, customize.
G&G:: The coffee machine in the bathroom's a little weird, I must admit. If that's your thing, do it. I'd definitely have to have access to a stereo system at all times. As soon as I walk into a room I'd press a button and music would quickly filter in. In my dream apartment I'd also need a big, super-organized closet with a catscan camera that lets me see how I look from all angles in different lighting. (Now how to make this dream reality?)
----
Here's the article sans my commentary if you're interested: link
It's a list from Cosmopolitan called Single-Girl Things to Do Before You Marry. Read Cosmo's tips and enjoy my commentary.
-------
It doesn't matter if you're planning to tie the knot with your man in the next couple of years or if that trip down the aisle isn't even on your horizon. There are some things that you better indulge in now, because once you're hitched? Forget about it.
Cosmo:: Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing abs.
So what if he's five years younger and your polar opposite? The joy of running your hands across his six-pack is a perfectly legitimate reason to go out with him.
G&G:: I totally agree with Cosmo on this one. I recall an episode of Sex and the City in which Samantha tells the girls that she once dated a guy all summer because he had a pool. If she can date a guy for his pool, you can date a guy for his abs. Remember, I did go to a concert two weeks ago partially because someone had great abs.
Cosmo:: Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.
Yes, it's fun to travel with your man, but you also have to have some solo adventures under your belt before you start sharing your life with him 100 percent.
G&G:: Become a global goddess. My friend and I have made it our goal to make it to Helsinki after we graduate. Hey Valo!
Cosmo:: Embrace feminine decor.
Don't go so far as to paint the walls pink — that'll freak out any guy who sets foot in your place — but stock up on stuff that appeals to your girlie side. When you're building a nest with him, you'll have to compromise on furniture and accessories, so pile on cute throw pillows while the decorating is all up to you (because here's a tip: Guys hate the things).Wear a hip, fabulous ring on your left hand. Once you have an engagement band, you won't want anything detracting attention from the ring.
G&G:: I'm not that girly, but if you must get your girl on, be my guest.
Cosmo:: Take advantage of the whole bed.
You have the rest of your life to stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man. Right now, place your pillow smack-dab in the center and make like a starfish.
G&G:: I suffer from only child syndrome so not sharing the bed is great, trust me!
Cosmo:: Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.
Chances are, when you have a joint account with your hubby, he's not going to get why a purse might be worth the GDP of a small country.
G&G:: Christian Louboutin here I come!
Cosmo:: Learn how to change a tire and work a drill.
It's easy to relegate all those "guy" tasks to your man (and you totally should enlist his help), but there's a sense of power that comes with being able to fix something yourself.
G&G:: Taking charge is always in my book, so why not look adorable doing it. Put on those Daisy Dukes and prove that anything he can do, you can do better (and more stylishly).
Cosmo:: Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet.
Once it's there, he'll have to accept it (and psst, they make it impossible for men to leave the seat up).Throw blowout bashes. Sure, it's nice to have a mellow get-together with your girlfriends, but that shouldn't be the extent of your social life. Before settling down, let your wild side reign.
G&G:: Sometimes furry things frighten me, so if you're like me I would stay away from this one.
Cosmo:: Get a grip on your dough.
Sign up for a retirement plan and invest extra income in stocks or CD accounts. Take charge of your own cash flow before merging moola with your guy.
G&G:: Remember - more money, more shoes! ;-)
Cosmo:: Have your dad take you out to dinner as often as possible.
The reasons: It's great bonding time, and his open-wallet generosity will dry up once you're hitched. Face it: Your reception is the last meal that'll be his treat.
G&G:: I was raised by a single mother so this doesn't really apply to me, but if it does for you, cheers!
Cosmo:: Hone a signature lingerie style.
Figure out what cuts and colors are hottest on you, and develop a look that's all your own. That way, your one-day groom will follow your lead ... and not buy the polyester, so-small-you-could-floss- your-teeth-with-it teddy.
G&G:: I'm all about Victoria's Secret. I even wanted to intern there, but the internship was all the way in Ohio (who the hell lives there? ... Sidenote - if you do you might want to check that out). Friends say I have "expensive taste", but when I walk around and spot an ill-fitting bra a mile away I always think, "Why suffer? Go to Vicky S." They have the best stuff there and you're sure to find your signature lingerie style (and no, I'm not telling you mine).
Cosmo:: Want a cat? Heed this advice: Buy it now.
Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.
G&G:: Here's the thing - I hate pets; my mom loves them. She grew up in Jamaica with dogs, a dozen cats, and birds. I grew up in a US apartment with a lease prohibiting pets, hence my apprehension towards pets. I don't dislike all pets; I like my friend's chihuahua. Hey Romee! "woof woof"
Cosmo:: If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda, buy a cone and pop a Coke.
When you and The Mister mangia together all the time, you'll be less likely to indulge those bizarre — but oh-so-satisfying — cravings.
G&G:: Go for it girl! Just remember to keep some PeptoBismal handy.
Cosmo:: Use tons of hot water in the a.m.
G&G:: Hell yeah! 'Nough said.
Cosmo:: Take your celeb crush to the max.
Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of him.
G&G:: Switch that Ryan Gosling poster for one of Justin Timberlake and we're good to go.
Cosmo:: Plan your fantasy wedding.
Now's the time to let your imagination roam — rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues, and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.
G&G:: I'm not really into the whole marriage thing, but if I was I'd be thinking Hawaii, beach, barefoot, simple, and a guy a cross between JT/Ryan Sheckler/John Mayer/Daniel Craig/Tom Ford/Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Travis McCoy.
Cosmo:: Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status can't disturb.
Regularly treat yourself to something you love, whether it's a manicure, yoga classes at the fanciest studio in town, or a superrelaxing massage.
G&G:: The time of my life - concerts, museums, art galleries, road trips, etc.
Cosmo:: Set up your home in a way that fits your needs.
Maybe keeping the coffee machine in the bathroom so you can get your caffeine boost while you put on makeup in the morning works for you. Until you have to deal with someone else weighing in on your unusual arrangement, customize.
G&G:: The coffee machine in the bathroom's a little weird, I must admit. If that's your thing, do it. I'd definitely have to have access to a stereo system at all times. As soon as I walk into a room I'd press a button and music would quickly filter in. In my dream apartment I'd also need a big, super-organized closet with a catscan camera that lets me see how I look from all angles in different lighting. (Now how to make this dream reality?)
----
Here's the article sans my commentary if you're interested: link
What You Always Wanted To Know ...
10 Things Karl Lagerfeld could do without:
- Food.
- Fat people.
- Children.
- Going to other places that involve people.
- Going to other places, period.
- People who try to touch him.
- People who try to analyze him.
- The nineties.
- Technology, the internet, etc.
- Love.
Here's my list and commentary in five words or less:
- People who talk to me when I just wake up. I'm not listening ... Shh!
- People who look over my shoulder when I'm working. Is that necessary!?!
- People who disturb me when I just get into the groove of what I'm doing. Leave me alone!
- People who don't understand me. Why?!?
- People who always want to hang out with me when I'm busy and/or broke. Find new friends with money!
- People who wear leggings as pants. Tacky.
- Random people who say "hi" to me and expect me to respond. Who you talkin' to?
- Guys who think I'm looking at them when I'm really checking out their cars. Get a life.
- People who stare at me when I wear my club kid hat. I look cool, but stop.
- People with bad breath who love to talk in my face. Step back!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Wanna be in the know?
Do you find magazines like Vogue and Elle trite and boring? Are you more of a Nylon or MissBehave girl? If you answered "yes" to both questions, I have something for you and as a bonus, it's free!
Who doesn't love freebies!?!
On April 1st a new free online magazine launched. It's called prim. In the first issue page 7 reads prim's motto: "We're Not Prim And We're Not Proper. Get Over It." Well said.
For more click here: primmagazine.com
Also be sure to check out prim's MySpace: myspace.com/thisisitmagazine
Who doesn't love freebies!?!
On April 1st a new free online magazine launched. It's called prim. In the first issue page 7 reads prim's motto: "We're Not Prim And We're Not Proper. Get Over It." Well said.
For more click here: primmagazine.com
Also be sure to check out prim's MySpace: myspace.com/thisisitmagazine
Mayer's Note 'From the Heart'
Usually celebrity blogs annoy me, but John Mayer's is actually good. Last week he posted a blog that I think everyone should read.
-----
THURSDAY, MARCH 27, 2008
FROM THE HEART....
I need to write this.
I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.
I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)
What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.
This is about us all.
This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.
This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me. "
This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.
This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.
This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.
This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.
I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.
Root for others.
Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.
I'm going quiet now.
John
-----
THURSDAY, MARCH 27, 2008
FROM THE HEART....
I need to write this.
I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.
I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)
What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.
This is about us all.
This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.
This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me. "
This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.
This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.
This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.
This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.
I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.
Root for others.
Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.
I'm going quiet now.
John
Friday, April 4, 2008
The Sexiest '4 Minutes' I've Ever Seen
Thanks to Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, Madonna's single, 4 Minutes, is a hit. The video just premiered and it's wicked! I can't believe Madonna's 50 this year. She looks amazing. And of course Justin looks great as always.
Madonna - 4 Minutes (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
Madonna - 4 Minutes (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
What is Grit and Glam?
Grit - rough & spirited
- NYC
- Nylon
- Waffles + Falafels
- vintage
- James Dean
- Heatherette
- Andy Warhol
- Venice Beach
- Edie Segwick
- The Factory
- Agyness Deyn
- Betsey Johnson
- tattoos
- Fergie
- Paris
- Crazy Beautiful
- NYC
- Nylon
- Waffles + Falafels
- vintage
- James Dean
- Heatherette
- Andy Warhol
- Venice Beach
- Edie Sedgwick
- The Factory
- Agyness Deyn
- Betsey Johnson
- tattoos
- Fergie
- Paris
- Crazy Beautiful
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